Love Yourself More In 7 Steps

You did a good job today, I assure you.

You worked hard.

You made sure everyone was taken care of. In reality you got a whole lotta shit done today, BUT as you lay down for bed you cannot stop thinking about all you did wrong today. You think about how you ate like shit, and you didn’t make it to the gym. You feel like you forgot something, and as you mentally run through your daily to-do list tonight you realize you did not check everything off your list.

Despite all the ass kicking you did today, you cannot help but feel like a failure as you close your eyes.

You tell yourself, “I will do better tomorrow” and make a plan to tackle the day like a beast. Hit Repeat because the same thing will happen again tomorrow night. You are ready to stop this cycle. You know you are awesome, but you don’t feel awesome.

You wish you could feel like the badass you are.

You are ready to stop failing and feel like the amazing lady you are. There are too many rules and expectations keeping you from seeing how badass you already are.

There are a lot of rules out there. Rules about
– How to diet
– How to dress
– What to eat
– What to weigh

Before you and I go any further I want you to say “Screw expectations. Screw the rules”. Whew! Doesn’t that feel good!

Here are 7 steps you can take today to improve your self-esteem.

Evaluate The Evidence

You feel bad about yourself because at the end of the day you evaluate all the mistakes you made, all the things you didn’t do right, all the things you didn’t do, and this becomes the evidence you need to feel like a failure.
In order to feel proud and successful you want to collect evidence to support the thought, “I am proud“.

What did you do well today? Who did you help?

Look At Your Unique Personality Traits

You have quirks and these quirks make you uniquely you. You have strengths and these personality strengths influence your interactions.

You bring something unique and special to the table. You offer talent and skills that make a huge difference in the world. You are making an impact. Working out and following dieting rules does not change and better the world. What you offer is world changing.

When you die do you want to be remembered for how well you dieted and worked out or for the impact you made in your family and community?

How did you impact your family and community today?

Avoid Comparison

Avoid accounts on social media that cause you to feel ashamed or “not good enough”. When you look at these accounts and compare your life to what you see online you feel lacking and you start to judge what you did and did not do. You want to try to be better tomorrow.
The thing about these social media sites is those individuals are not living your life. They did not see all you accomplished today and how hard you work. You are also not seeing their struggle but you are only seeing their highlight reel.

Unfollow the fitspo and fitspiration sites you may follow. Follow groups and individuals that bring you joy.

Let Go Of Your Ideal Self

You have a vision of a person you want to be in your head, and you feel like you are not “good enough” and you judge all the work you need to do to become “arrived”.
But the thing is you have arrived. You are your ideal self today.

Look at how you made choices today that supports the person you want to be.

What did you do today that will make your future self proud?

Do Something For You Every Single Day

This is not being selfish. This is being self-aware and loving yourself.

How can you make yourself a priority? Schedule time (it can only be a few minutes) where you do something loving and kind for yourself. Here are just a few ideas:
– Take a walk
– Enjoy a bath
– Journal
– Sip coffee in silence
– Stay off Social Media

Practice Saying “NO”

This one is not always easy. You don’t like disappointing or upsetting people. But saying “yes” takes time and energy away from you, and this harms your self-esteem.
The more you say “no” the easier it gets. You don’t have to say “no” to everything, you just want to say “no” to things that do not fulfill you.

A great way to practice saying “no” is to prepare a script. Write down a basic way to tell someone “no” then when asked you have a prepared version to help you confidently decline.

Look At How Mistakes Help You

Rather than see a “screw up” as a failure, look at it as mistake. We all make mistakes.

Answer these questions whenever you are feeling like a failure.

How did you learn from this mistake?

How does this mistake make you a better person

Mistakes help us grow and make us stronger and more tolerant. View mistakes as learning opportunities.

You will not find your self-worth and confidence in your body shape and size. Your self-worth and self-esteem comes from knowing WHO you are. It comes from knowing YOU DO GOOD THINGS, YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. You do not have to make a global impact to have confidence, worth, and value. Everyday that you get up and do your day, you are making a difference.

Self-compassion and self-love are not always easy, but both are totally doable and possible. I see clients everyday come to better accept, care, and respect self, and these are the components of self-esteem and self-love. If you are having trouble applying any of these tips, because again this is not easy, the best thing you can do for yourself is to reach out for help. Seeking support is oftentimes the best first step toward self-love.