Avoiding Comparison
The Danger of Comparison: Why Your Journey is Your Own
Comparing yourself to others is going to cause you nothing but anxiety, confusion, and upset. I am not going to tell you,
“Stop comparing,” because if it were that easy, none of us would be in this position. It is super hard to not compare yourself to others. 😔
As an Eating Disorder Therapist, Body Image, Self-Esteem, and Eating Disorder Recovery Coach in Texas, I am seeing a lot of clients struggling with comparison. I am totally guilty of doing this myself. I notice that when I do compare myself to others, I feel anxious and full of self-doubt. 😣
So what helps me? Great question!
When I notice I am comparing myself to others, I gently stop myself. I acknowledge what is making me feel bad, and I remind myself of what I am doing in the present moment that is worthy of praise. For example, I recently compared myself to a colleague who is experiencing a lot of success. I felt really anxious and like I was behind. I felt pressure to get my shit together and make it work professionally. I was sitting with thoughts of failure and doubt. 😟
When I realized I was thinking this way and feeling anxious, I asked myself, “Stephanie, are you comparing yourself to so-and-so?” And the answer was yes… 🙋♀️
I then acknowledged my colleague was killin’ it and that I hoped to be in her position at some point. I then allowed myself to evaluate how I was working and reviewed my wins in my business. This was not me being unrealistic or fooling myself. I am legit jealous of my colleague’s success. However, I was able to also allow myself to take inventory of what I was doing to help me experience similar success. I also had to remind myself that her journey is different from mine, so it is not fair for me to compare our journeys. We are not on the same path. 🛤️
Now it is your turn to practice:
When you find yourself feeling anxious and full of self-doubt, ask yourself:
Am I comparing myself to someone? 🤔
Next, acknowledge the comparison and allow yourself to feel jealous of the other person. Remember, emotions are not bad. You can feel jealous, but then you must do the next step… 😌
Evaluate what is working for you. Evaluate your wins and ask yourself what you are doing to get yourself to a healthy place. 💪🌱
Lastly, don’t forget to remind yourself that your journey is different. The person you are comparing yourself to has also struggled, and their road was not clear or easy. They may have something you want, but you don’t know how healthy, easy, or pleasant it was to get there. 🛣️💭
Your job is to take care of you, your body, and your priorities. 💖
Learn more about how to be kinder to yourself and discover new ways of approaching your body and your life: CLICK HERE 🌟